June 5, 2007

Today finds me in an odd spot. I have a lot of emotions finding their way into me rightnow. Tomorrow marks the 3 month anniversary of my Love and I finding each other, and showing our true feelings for each other. I know not what we shall do to celebrate, nor whether we shall celebrate at all, however. I do know that I must find a floral growth of new proportions and give it to my Love. Currently there is no food in the house, nor is there money. Gas has been shut off for months now; Water and electricity are due to be shut off, There is a 7-day notice to pay rent or leave; There is no gas in the car; Father hasn't worked in days; What little paycheck there is is made proportionally smaller due to debt garnishments, and on top of that, Father is sick; Therefore annoyed easily. Currently it is 7:30 p.m.; It hailed today. Not surprising, as this is KY, and if you don't like the weather here, wait 5 minutes. It'll change. My Love is sick again, which has me a bit worried. Poor thing has been sick so oft' in the past few weeks, I'm beginning to wonder if he's got the plague! *laughs lightly* I've begun to get closer to Sara, yet have concurrently begun to grow apart from Tamaria, though it pains me to admit such a feat. Mere months ago it seems we were so inseparable, we would have fallen on each other's shadow! Sadly now, even a glimse of the other's shadow would be a moment worth marks. I am quite extatic for the time of summer is upon us, and that means no school for now. It also means that with the appearance of school's ugly head in August, I shall roam the halls as a senior! This makes me happier than I thought I would be about school in years. The only thing making me happier right now is my Love. He is my life, and my soul, and I would do anything for him, should he ask. He is so good to me, and so sweet, that I oft' wonder, plague or not, if he is an angel walking on this earth, should such beings exist. My entire waking life is spent thinking of him, as he has captured my heart. My dreams are filled with him, and my breaths are whining for him. I suddenly feel quite ill. I have had this feeling many times lately, and I wish I could know why that is. My back pains me, and my stomach ails me. I feel as if I need to vomit constantly. That was unneeded information, and I apologize. But my hands type what I think, and I think what I feel, therefore whatever I feel at the moment, you shall read. Assuming, of course, I still have your attention. If you have made it thus far, surprise escapes me. I would have to wonder at your insanity as well as mine if you are still with me. Many things are bothering me right now, and I welcome a busy schedule at almost all times. I have managed to keep hold of my insanity by inviting people over almost constantly, or going somewhere with someone, even if there is nothing to do when we reach that somewhere. I have applied for a job at the new Walgreens down the road, and have not heard fromthem. Father says I should harass them, and not wait for them to get ahold of me, however I find that highly improper, and utterly rude. I may actually walk up to the store tomorrow and see if they would like to talk to me, or if they even got my application at all. Father just threw away a pile of pancake mix, because he had added too much water, and it wouldn't cook, so he dumped some water out, making it too thick to cook. Now he has only one pancake to eat, and the last of the pancake mix was used to make the one pancake. (Obviously excluding the ruined one he threw away.) And I am starting to worry. Still with me? Quite a surprise that is! *smiles* You are one very brave soul indeed if you are willing to brave the unknown depths of my mind. And this meaningless pile of words has naught a candle to the actuality of my mind. I am quite the personality, and am not one to be tread heavily around. I tend to get anxious easily if there is something worth getting anxious over; I tend to be quite friendly until someone does something to seriously anger me: I tend to be the funny person in a group of people, and the one that everyone likes; On the occasion that there is someone that dislikes me, I would greatly prefer that they not hide it, and that they tell me upfront if they have a problem with me. I am quite happy to discuss many things with people, including my beliefs. One of which is that I can't stand people who hurt people I care about. And I find it quite amusing when people try to hurt me and/or my pride with their words. I simply take them in stride and laugh them off, as I enjoy them greatly. I have somehow managed to turn this into an all about me segment, which should be reserved for other places, times, and people. If, however, you remain interested in me, and would like to get to know me further, or would like to read more about me and my mind, and the people and things in it, feel free to contact me when you get the free time from your own personal schedule. I have several websites that describe me, and each contains a separate personality and part of me. I would be more than happy to return any messages you may send in my direction, and do promise to get back to you as promptly and honestly as I possibly can at the time. Thank you so much for hanging in there with me as long as you have, I understand it was not an easy thing to do. I will attempt to post another entry as soon as possible. Please do reply and contain my boredom...I would greatly appreciate any comments you may say, even the rude ones. I find those the most interesting. :D