I am very confused right now by something someone wrote. I just got back from Rocky Horror Picture Show, and should be happy. My friends are in my bed sleeping and I am on here, feeling more tired than I believe I have ever been in my life; Yet I cannot bring my mind to overpower itself and give in to the extreme burning sensation in my eyes. I don't care if any reads this. I really don't need anyone to read it, I just needed to see it for myself, in the hopes that it would somehow help me. This person is currently about an hour and a half's walk from here, and I really want to go see them, but it is 5:30 in the morning, and my neighborhood isn't one for a 16 1/2 year old girl to be walking alone in. [pause] *sigh* For once there is a puzzle that utterly escapes and confuses even my mind. And as if there is not enough inherant worry in that itself, the cause for the confusion, i.e. the words said person wrote, are superbley mind-blowingly...complex. The words are not. The words are as follows: "FUCK LIVING A FUCKING LIE EVERY FUCKING DAY OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE, BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING CRITISIZED FOR BEING WHO YOU FUCKING ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!" I even counted the number of "!" this person put. 12. There are 12 exactly. I have not eaten since about wednsday, and haven't drank since yesterday, in which I consumed the barest of volumes of water, maybe a tablespoon's worth, to swallow pain pills. Just 2. 2 pills for the pain. Pain. Yes. Pain was my friend so often before, and I dislike it greatly when it resides in those so close to me. Is there pain in this person's words? Surely. But what do they mean? How do they hurt? Why can I not help? Who is critisizing them so harshly that they must resort to living a lie? When did all this start, and when will it stop? I beg pardon from those of you whom have wandered into this emotional deathtrap. I understand I do not know any of you, and that none of you really care about what I'm saying. But as I said before. I really didn't post this to make you guys read it, reply, or do any such thing. I don't want attention, I've had enough for the night. But I simply had to see these thoughts out and attempt to connect some sort of logic to the illogical strand of nonsense that so obviously is of utmost importance to this person. [blink] If you have read this, I apologize for time and space wasted. Please do not argue anything right now. I have no patience for unintelligable idiots who choose to wander around picking fights with easy targets. It's low. I despise low. And will not stoop to that level. Not now. Not tonight. Maybe later. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe. Good-night.