So, I was online as usual, half-heartedly flipping through all my sites, commenting here and there about different threads, and my own thread popped to the top of the list. Someone had replied in the thread I had made, to comfort people and whatnot. I read their post, and glanced above them, expecting to see my own post. Instead, I see Hers. She was talking in my thread? Mine? My heart jumped, and my hands started sweating, as I thought 'Surely she's not angry with me? I've left her alone, like she asked, so she could have time, even though I didn't want to give her space... Even though I wanted to pick her up and hug her all day...'
Instead, she was saying the opposite. And, like it or not, neither of us have been great to the other, myself included... Nay, myself ESPECIALLY.
I waited until this morning to reply, because I wanted to make sure what I said would say what I wanted. If that's confusing, too bad, that's the way it went down.
And, even though I still feel like something is missing, what's said has been said, and now I can only wait.
Wait for what?
For my Renaissance.
My Renaissance comes in a couple of weeks, so I just have to hold on that much longer. Then, everything will be better! Not great, not like I WISH it would be, but so much better. Healthier, happier, less stressful, more fulfilling. Just because the economy says I can't have the teenage life everyone else is having doesn't mean I can't have a the GOOD life everyone else is having.
My mom is supposed to be getting married, and coming home, and I'm supposed to see her, and George, and Tasha, and Crispy, and maybe even my precious Forest again... maybe.... I miss him so much..
I'll get my bass, and my books, and my Hank, and my sega, and my other clothes, and sooooo much more. I'll get more people coming over too, since there won't be seven years worth of smoke caked on everything, and ashes all over the place, and dishes and trash and... ugh.
No yelling, no conflictions, no anything horrible. Just me, my family, the adults working, the kids going to school... Just like it should be. I won't have to question when I'll get to eat, or if I'll have a home the next week, or if my cats will have food...
It will be so much better.
Just a few more weeks, even though I'm terribly impatient.
*sigh*
Just a few more...